Note: Before getting into the heart of this blog, I'd just like to mention that this blog is a general response to facing negative people. It is not specific to anyone's situation and shouldn't be seen as 'The Answer' to dealing with negative people. If there is an idea that I consistently repeat, it's that there is no such thing as 'The Answer', and I won't pretend that there is. And what should matter with this blog, as with everything else that I do (all the content that I create and the ideas I share), are the realizations that you come to, as those realizations will be what'll help you to grow your fulfillment in your life. I just wanted to make this clear for this blog.
Now, to facing negative people:
There are two options that I'd like to present to you when it comes to facing a negative person. And here they are:
Option 1: Leave them.
This might seem against what I've written before about how we're all responsible for everyone and I still defend the idea that we're all responsible for everyone. But that is also why leaving them is a viable option.
Think of it this way, both you and this negative person are in a negative situation and as much as you might have tried to inspire this person to change, they won't allow themselves to; and so you're both stuck in this negative situation that isn't serving either of you and you'll continue to remain in this negative situation until something drastic changes (i.e. you leave them). And by not leaving them, by remaining in the negative situation, you are responsible for the negative situation, even if this negative person is ignorant to the idea that they are also responsible for this negative situation.
But by leaving, the negative situation gets broken and that might spark something in this negative person and they might finally allow themselves to change.
Option 2: Grow.
Now, if leaving them were not an option that you'd like to cross, either because the negative person was family, or a close friend, or a partner, or for whatever other reason, then growing your fulfillment in your life is a viable option.
By growing your fulfillment in your life, you'll be able to counteract the negativity that the negative person is eliciting and in that way, you won't have to suffer from the negative situation that both you and this person are living through.
Now, this begs to ask the question, "How do you grow your fulfillment in your life?"
And there are a number of ways in which you can do this. You can:
1) Improve your health.
2) Learn a new discipline.
3) Grow spiritually.
4) Any combination of these ways.
And really, it doesn't matter which way you take. What should matter is that you feel growth, that you feel progress. Because by feeling that growth, you'll grow your fulfillment in your life.
Growth and fulfillment make the best couple. They both complement each other and value the long haul.
And what makes growth amazing is that by growing, you might be able to inspire this negative person to change.
Let's take an example.
Let's say you decided to take an aerobics class to lose weight. So, in secret, you take some classes, lose a bit of weight and feel really good about yourself because you've set out to achieve something and done it. And then, on top of all that, this negative person in your life sees that you've lost some weight and that you're happier than usual and proceeds to ask what you have been doing. You tell them that you have been doing some aerobic classes and recommend that they should join. They might be reluctant at first, but you don't push them to have to come along and continue to just do the aerobic classes without this negative person. But as you continue to improve your health and become happier, this negative person slowly edges towards asking to join this aerobics class, only to eventually ask if they could attend a class to try it out. You then bring this negative person to the class and gradually, as they go through the class they feel good about themselves for doing something different, inspiring them to go to more aerobic classes and slowly, their negative attitude dissipates and they can become happy, just as you are, and the negative situation isn't visible anymore.
This is why, in my opinion, option 2 is the better option and is why I defend the idea that if there is any good solution to any problem, it's to grow, i.e. work on yourself.
But the big take away that I hope you get from this newsletter is that just because this negative person is negative doesn't mean you have to suffer. You have options. And as hard as this negative person might make your situation feel, there are ways out of it. So, if you happen to be in a negative situation with a negative person, please, don't suffer at their expense and do something to change the situation. It'll help you and this other person.
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